It is possible that you may be stressed about planning the wedding or being in the spotlight on the big day. If this is the reason for your doubts, you don’t need to call the engagement off, but you may want to get someone to help you plan or even scale back your wedding plans. If you are unsure about your compatibility or your own ability to be a husband or wife, you and your fiancé(e) may benefit from therapy. If you are having doubts because you are not sure if you and your fiancé(e) will be in agreement on big issues, like having kids or moving to a new city, you need to talk about these issues before you decide whether or not to call off the engagement. If your partner is abusive in any way, you should end the relationship right away. If you are having doubts about the marriage because you love someone else, it may be best to call off the engagement. Your feelings are unlikely to go away. [1] X Research source
Women tend to have fewer doubts about getting married than men do, but women’s pre-wedding doubts are also more highly correlated with divorce. The odds of divorce are even higher if both partners are doubtful before the wedding. Remember that being anxious about getting married is not the same thing as having doubts. If you are truly doubting your decision, you need to do something about it.
Make sure you know exactly how you feel before you tell your partner and communicate your desire very clearly.
If you are thinking about calling off your engagement but are not sure, avoid making nonrefundable deposits or buying expensive items for your wedding.
A phone call is better than a text or email, but a face-to-face conversation is still preferable.
There’s no reason to bring up every disagreement the two of you have ever had. While you do want to give a reason for the breakup, don’t go overboard with a laundry list of complaints. Make sure to give your partner the opportunity to ask questions, and always answer them sincerely.
Never yell or call your partner names when breaking up. Even if you are calling the relationship off for good, there’s no reason you can’t acknowledge that you will miss your partner. Depending on the situation, you can even explain how much your relationship meant to you.
It’s up to you whether or not you want to offer an explanation as to why the wedding is cancelled. You also need to return any gifts you have received. It’s not fair to keep them if you’re not going through with the wedding. If you cancel right before the wedding, it’s best to call each guest personally to let them know. Make sure to apologize to your guests for the inconvenience if they have already booked travel plans to come to your wedding.
The earlier you cancel, the more likely you are to get your deposit back from your venue because they may still have time to book another wedding on the day you had reserved. You vendors will probably be more sympathetic to your situation if you are nice about it, so don’t argue with them over a refund. If you have a wedding insurance policy, check to see if it covers weddings that are cancelled due to a change of heart.
If you and your fiancé(e) have a pet together, you will also have to decide who will take it. If a couple cannot agree, the case sometimes goes to court, in which case the judge will examine factors such as who adopted the pet, who cares for the pet, and who is best capable of caring for the pet in the future. [11] X Research source If you and your partner live together, whether you own or lease, you will need to decide who will stay and who will go. It’s a good idea to have a plan for where you will go after you break off the engagement.
Some states have laws regarding whether the recipient of the ring is entitled to keep it or required to give it back, so you may have no choice, assuming your partner brings you to court over it.
In some states, your ex-fiancé(e) may even be able to sue you for breach of promise to marry.
