Breaking up with someone can actually have a physical effect on your body and lead to decreased energy. Be prepared to take care of yourself by eating well, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising. [3] X Expert Source Amy ChanRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
Wait a few days after your partner has received bad news – like getting fired from work –to deliver your own news. You should also never break up before or during a date or on someone’s birthday or another holiday. The worst time to break up with your current partner is after you’ve already started seeing someone else. If the relationship isn’t working, tell your partner before you start looking for a relationship that does. [4] X Research source
Although you should generally avoid using technology to have the actual breakup conversation, this could change depending on the length and nature of your relationship. If a majority of your relationship took place over the phone, or if it feels completely unnatural to talk to her in person about this, then a phone call might suffice (this is particularly true if it is also a long distance relationship). It could save her time as well.
Choose somewhere semi-private. Don’t choose somewhere like a party where she could embarrass herself by crying in front of her (or your!) friends. But do keep in mind that once the conversation is over, you’ll be broken up, so don’t invite her to your place if you live far away from her. Avoid places with sentimental value. If you haven’t been in a relationship very long, you probably won’t have many places that have meaning in the context of your relationship. You should still avoid any such places however, like where you had your first date or first kiss. [6] X Research source
Start by saying something positive. For example, you can say “I really enjoyed the time we spent together,” or “I think you’re a really good person. " Be clear about what isn’t working. You can say, “. . . but I just don’t have time for a serious relationship right now,” or “but I’m not having fun anymore” or “but I just feel like it won’t work in the long run. " Clearly state that you want to break up. Say something like “So I want to break up,” or “So I want to stay friends but I don’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. " This helps you avoid a situation where she thinks there’s a chance to patch things up.
You will know best how to respond, but you might consider holding her hand if she cries or answering her questions as kindly as possible. You can also say something like “I know this hurts you and I’m sorry. " If, however, she gets more upset rather than calming down, set a specific time to talk to her later and then walk away. Say something like, “I know you’re very upset right now, so I will call you tomorrow so we can discuss this when we’re both a little more calm. " [10] X Research source
