Write a detailed definition the problem. Why do you want to break up with the person? Is it because of something that happened between the two of you? Or is it because of how you feel? Make a list of your options. Is breaking up the only option? Or do you think there is potential for you and your significant other to work things out? If you are determined to break up with the person, then what are your options for breaking up? Consider your options. Which option is most likely to bring about the best result? Think about what the risks and benefits of each of the options you have listed might be. Choose and follow through. After you have analyzed each option, you can choose the one that you think will provide the best results. Then, put your plan into action. Make sure to reflect on the outcome of your decision and consider how you might improve your approach in the future.
If your relationship is physically or emotionally abusive, you never need to feel guilty about breaking it off. You deserve safety and respect in your relationships.
Delaying a breakup might be easier in the short term. But, in the long term, dragging a relationship out wastes everyone’s time and will hurt your partner more in the end. [3] X Research source
Use your judgment when asking for advice. Choose someone who will keep your business private. You don’t want your partner to find out about the breakup from somebody else before they hear it from you. You might bring up the subject by saying “Hey, sis, I wanted to talk to you about something. I love John and he loves me, but we seem to have grown apart. I don’t know what to do…”
Don’t spring “the talk” on your partner without any warning. Say something like, “I need to talk to you about something important. Can we meet up tomorrow evening?” Do not break up via phone, text, or email unless you are concerned for your safety. Breaking up in person is much more considerate and respectful to your partner.
Breakups usually bring intense emotions to the surface for both people. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may get angry, cry, or try to talk you out of breaking up. Decide ahead of time how you will handle each of these responses, and practice staying firm in the face of these reactions while role-playing with your friend.
For instance, don’t say, “You don’t make me a priority in your life. ” Instead, try saying something like, “I need a partner who makes time for me, and I don’t feel like you do that. ”
Resist the temptation to express your sorrow with a cliché like “It’s not you, it’s me” or something similar. Just say what you mean as directly as possible.
Studies have found that breakups are least painful when the person ending the relationship is kind, honest, and positive about the time they have spent with the other person. [10] X Research source Emphasize ways the breakup benefits both of you. For instance, you might tell your partner, “I think I would be happier if I dated someone whose personality is more compatible with my own. "
Even if you want to stay friends with your ex, remember that you both need time and distance to heal after a breakup. Be respectful of your ex’s feelings and give them space to move on after the relationship ends. Unfollowing or unfriending your ex on social media may also be a good option to reduce your reminders of them.
If you don’t know what to do with yourself, try picking up a new hobby or joining a gym. Sometimes post-breakup pain can be a catalyst for personal development.
Don’t hesitate to call up a friend or spend extra time around your loved ones if you’re feeling down. Simply say to a loved one, “I know it was for the best, but I don’t want to be alone right now. Do you want to come over and watch a movie?”[13] X Research source
If you have any unresolved issues that played a part in your last breakup, work on addressing those before you re-enter the dating world. Becoming emotionally healthy will help you attract a better relationship in the future. [14] X Research source
