Avoid breaking up through text or instant messenger, which is hurtful and impersonal. Only resort to a letter or email if you have tried to break up before and he changed your mind. If you are in an abusive relationship, breaking up over the phone, through email, or with a letter is okay. Your safety is most important.
If you are unsure of how he’ll react, schedule the meeting in a more public place, like a coffee shop. If you’re afraid he might have a bad reaction, have a friend come along with you. They can be out of sight, but somewhere in the nearby vicinity, just in case you need them.
Give yourself a couple of days to think things over to be sure breaking up is what you want.
Practicing can help you avoid rambling or saying something you regret. Keep in mind that no matter how well you prepare, he still may react differently than you expect.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something. ” “I’ve been thinking about our relationship and I’ve made a decision. “[7] X Research source
“So, I want to break up. " “I want to continue being your friend, but I don’t want to be your girlfriend/boyfriend anymore. “[8] X Research source “I’m not happy in our relationship. "
“I’m not ready for a serious boyfriend right now. " “This doesn’t feel right to me anymore. I’m not happy. " “We argue more than we have fun together. " “There’s someone else. “[9] X Research source
“I’m sorry if this hurts to hear. " “I’m sorry if this hurts you. " “I know this may be difficult to hear and I’m sorry about that. “[10] X Research source
If he becomes rude or violent, say, “I don’t feel safe, so I’m leaving. " As you’re leaving, call a friend and let them know what’s happening.
“I’ll always remember the special times we shared. " “Whoever you go out with next will be lucky to have someone like you. " “I know we’ll always care about each other. " “I’m so glad we got to know each other. “[12] X Research source
Make sure you make it a clean break. Don’t get sucked into talking with him again to make him feel better. This may convince him that he has a chance of getting back together with you.
For instance, if you see him socially in a group, you might say “Hi” and then find a seat near some other friends to limit conversation opportunities. Make sure that you do not ask him about his personal life or tell him about yours during any interactions that you have with him.
For example, you could have a movie night with your best friends. Choose lighthearted or comedy films to keep things upbeat. Go to brunch with a parent or sibling. Vent if you need to, or just spend some quality time catching up.
For instance, if you used to walk to class with your boyfriend, you might start walking with a new group of friends. Try joining a club or organization. Check out new restaurants or parks. Fill your calendar with exciting activities and social events. Spend more time on your hobbies, or start a new one that has always interested you. For example, you could take a cooking class, join a recreational sport, or audition for a play.
You are ready to date again when you can calmly and realistically discuss your ex and the old relationship and take ownership for your role in its end.
