You might not realize it, but there are benefits to ending a relationship in person. For one thing, it gives both people a chance to talk and reflect on the situation. And even though it will be harder to do, it will most likely lead to less drama, which is a good thing.
You can probably find bad things about your relationship that you contributed to, if you really wanted. In an effort to be fair, and to not have your ex-girlfriend feel like she is directly responsible for the end of the relationship, be sure to mention the things that you could have changed to make the relationship better. In some cases, the blame will be solely on the other person. In those situations, it’s okay to tell it like it is. If your girlfriend is cheating, abusing drugs, manipulative, or increasingly disrespecting you, you can lay the blame directly on her actions. In most cases, this can cause an argument, so be prepared. The upside is that you’re being honest with both yourself and her why the relationship didn’t work, leaving you both with a better chance of finding lasting love later on. Isn’t that what you both want?
Tell your close friends, but don’t publicize your breakup to acquaintances or people you hardly know. It’s probably a good idea to tell your close friends what happened between you and your ex. It’s probably not such a great idea to start telling your entire social circle via Facebook, or every girl in your school, that you and your ex are history. It just smacks of desperation.
Don’t cheat on your ex before you break up with them. If something is simmering between you and another girl, have the decency to wait a bit, really think about your feelings, and break up with your current girlfriend before you do anything with the other girl. It will look better to your ex, and feel better for you. Don’t treat them poorly before the relationship has ended. (Better yet, don’t treat them poorly at all. ) If you’re still in a relationship, you owe something to the other person. It’s not really okay to check out before things have ended. If you don’t feel like being nice to your girlfriend, you owe it to her to give her the opportunity to find someone who can.
Don’t be distant. Even if you don’t really feel like it, offer hugs and other appropriate signs of affection if your ex looks like she needs it. Be reassuring, not selfish. Find the right time to break up. Obviously, there’s never a perfect time. But right before a celebration, test, or vacation is a bad time to do it. Give yourself enough time, and try to do it when she doesn’t have anything else significant going on afterward. Resist the urge to argue. When someone is being broken up with, there’s a good chance they’re going to be angry. Don’t feed her anger by provoking, debating, or belittling her. Ex-lovers often say very hurtful things when they argue.
Show her that you’ve given it some thought, and offer her some facts to back it up. Don’t be aggressive or combative. When explaining the reasons for a breakup, don’t talk about other relationships. Your relationship is your own, and breaking up isn’t about comparing your relationship to anyone else’s. [11] X Expert Source Cherlyn ChongRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 21 June 2019. Stay there for as long as she needs an explanation. Don’t run out the door as soon as you’ve said the words “let’s break up. " Stay with her while she’s processing the information, answering any follow-up questions she may have. If you keep returning to the same questions over and over again, tell her that you think that’s happening.
